Chapter 8 – I Am Not Weak

Time was at a standstill in the middle of the field. The weather was calm, and the sky was cloudy, which can be interpreted as typical english weather. And aside from the explosion in Reading disturbing the peace moments ago, it was mostly quiet.

Alex came back to Hillside to visit Jason in person since he wasn’t answering his texts. The explosion caught him off guard, and without thinking, compelled him to change back into his normal clothes, right as Jackson was heading his way, catching him in the act. Now the two of them are standing in silence, both shocked at what had just happened. Alex has only been a hero for a few weeks and already he’s broken the number one rule of being a superhero. Never reveal your secret identity.

Jackson was still having a hard time believing what he’d just seen. He’d seen Chaos Man all over the news like everybody else but never imagined he’d get to meet him in person, let alone discover who he really was. All this time he was raising him under his roof. But how could this be? He can’t have been Chaos Man since he was a baby, he would have known.

It took a while for his shock to fade enough for him to let words flow out of his mouth.

Jackson: I-I don’t understand. You’re Chaos Man?!

Alex gulps nervously and starts looking all around him for any other potential witnesses, praying to God that it was just Jackson who stumbled upon him and not one of the other kids. He couldn’t trust any of them to keep a secret. The way social media is today, one kid could spread his secret all over the net in a matter of minutes. Thankfully it was just Jackson. To be on the safe side he decided to keep his suit off until he found a safe, private place to change again.

Jackson: How long have you been keeping this from me?

Alex: I’m so sorry, Jackson. But I promised Omnius not to tell anyone to keep the people I care about out of harms way.

Jackson: Omnius knew about this too? Of course, that’s why he adopted you out of the blue… When did this happen?

Alex: Well, you remember when I left the house that night?

Jackson: Yes.

Alex: I left because a giant emerald fell from the sky and crashed right here in this very field.

He looks over Jackson’s shoulder much further down the field where the crater still was. It became a crime scene the day after the emerald landed. A huge fence was placed around the crash site and covered with yellow police tape. Jackson remembered seeing tons of police robots guarding the area whilst scientists were analysing the crater for explosive residue. Eventually they left when there was nothing to find but kept the fence up as a precaution to keep out any curious trespassers.

Alex: I went to check it out, but I got too close. All its energy went into me. I don’t know what happened to the meteor. Omnius was there when it happened and took me to his home. He adopted me because he wanted to help me control the energy, and I almost have… It’s been incredible. I have powers. I have a costume. I can do things I never thought I was capable of. And I want to make things right for the world like I always wanted as a kid.

There was no immediate response from the middle-aged black man. He was still so shocked by what he heard that he almost fell backwards. Alex instinctively used his super speed to get behind and catch him before he could blink, further surprising him. He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t just witnessed it.

Alex: Are you okay?

Jackson: I’m fine… Haha, I guess this explains how you got so strong all of a sudden when you came back.

Alex: Hehe, yeah. I had trouble controlling myself back then.

Jackson: What are you even doing here?

Alex: I had some free time and thought I’d stop by and see how you, May Li, and Jason are doing. But this reunion didn’t exactly go like I’d hope, haha. What about you? Why are you out here?

Jackson: I was out for my afternoon walk like I do every day when the weathers nice. You just happened to fly by as Chaos Man when I did. When you landed near the orphanage, I was worried there was danger nearby. Why else would the suddenly famous hero show up in a small town like Fordwich?

The tension starts to fade between the two of them. Jackson was slowly getting used to the revelation of Alex being Chaos Man. A part of Alex feels a little relieved to talk to someone else about this with.

Jackson glances down at his watch and realises what time it was. He was supposed to be back from his walk eight minutes ago. He needed to get back and help May Li deal with the children. As well as hear about how Jason’s group therapy session went.

Jackson: Oh gosh, look at the time. I’m sorry, Alex, but I gotta go. I should’ve been back ages ago.

Alex: That’s alright. I’ll go with you. Say “Hi” to Jason and May Li.

Jackson: Now isn’t a good time, son. A lot has been going on with Jason since you’ve left.

Alex: That explains why he’s not replying to my texts. Is he alright?

Jackson: May Li’s been taking him to therapy to help cope with you and Michael leaving. At first it was going well, but then there was an incident earlier today during his first group therapy session…

Alex: So that was Jason that Violet mentioned was the one causing a scene. Poor guy. I had no idea my leaving was going to hurt him that much. He’ll probably be pissed to see me now.

Jackson: …That is why I think you should give him some space first to calm down. Maybe then he’ll be open to catching up.

Alex: Good point. I guess I can just go back to patrolling New London, stop some more crime.

Jackson: You can never seem to avoid trouble, can you? Still, that explosion over there was very devastating. I think you should find some time to check it out once the dust settles. Now that I know its you under that mask, I expect you to be responsible with your powers.

Alex: Omnius said something similar too.

Jackson: You are fortunate to have a mentor as wise as him.

Alex: You can say that again… Alright, I guess we’ll put a pin in it for later. Do you need help getting home?

Jackson: Watch your mouth, young man. I ain’t that old yet. I can make it on my own just fine.

He and Alex share a chuckle before the chipper care worker starts making his way back to the care home. However, Alex stops him by lightly grabbing his arm, making sure not to squeeze too hard and accidentally crush the bone. Even with inhibitors on its frustrating how much he has to hold back his strength.

Alex: Wait, Jackson. You can’t tell anyone that I’m Chaos Man, not even Jason.

Jackson: Don’t worry, I won’t. You may be grown up now, but I told you that I would protect you no matter what, and that’s what I’m going to do. Does anyone else know your Chaos Man?

Alex: Just you and Omnius.

Jackson: Good. You got lucky today. Had it been anyone else you’d be in a lot of trouble. If the wrong people found out it would put the orphans in danger, and I won’t allow it… Anyway, I’ll be off now.

He takes his leave, but not without giving a final glance over at Alex.

Jackson: And Alex, promise me you’ll be careful from now on, okay?

Alex: Course I will.

Jackson: Alright then. Farewell, Chaos Man.

He then leaves the fields and returns to the road leading back to Hillside House, giving Alex one last wave goodbye, one Alex happily returned. Jackson’s always been like a father to him for as long as he can remember. He trusts he’ll keep his secret. He’s one of the most honest men he’s ever known. Maybe one day he’ll tell the other people closest to him too.

For now, he takes Jackson’s advice and finds a quiet spot deep in the forest, away from any possible spies, before changing back into Chaos Man and blasting off into the sky.

Once Jackson returned to the orphanage, he was greeted by a concerned May Li. All this time she’d been waiting for him to get back so that they could discuss what to do with Jason. She tells him what happened at the group meeting and how he ran off and left her waiting in the shop for hours. She was starting to lose her patience with him, showing obvious signs of stress. Jackson helps her calm down by making them both a cup of tea in the kitchen.

They continue their conversation in his office with the door locked and the blinds down to give them some privacy. Jackson sits back in his chair and listens to his coworker as he sips his tea and looks over some paperwork.

May Li: …It was going so well until one of the group members started bringing up Chaos Man.

Hearing that name almost made Jackson almost spit out his tea in surprise, but he just manages to keep his mouth shut and swallows. He clears his throat and speaks to her.

Jackson: Chaos Man? What’s he got to do with Jason?

May Li: The therapist said he verbally insulted everyone in the room for being a supporter of his. Calling them, I quote, “pathetic, hero-worshipping sheep.” One of the patients was hurt from his outburst and needed to leave early.

Jackson: Okay, I think I see what’s going on here. Jason has always had a grey view of the world. He doesn’t believe in someone being completely good or bad. And when someone like Chaos Man comes along, claiming to be the “good guy,” I guess it triggered a negative response. I’ve seen it whenever he and Alex watched Captain Cosmic… What else did they say?

May Li: Andrea says she’ll continue working solo with him for now. But after this, she doesn’t think Jason is welcome to rejoin the group until he’s made more progress.

Jackson: Okay, I can live with that. Your wife’s been good with him thus far. I’m sure in time she’ll help him open up more. But what about you?

May Li: Me?

Jackson: How are you coping with Jason’s behaviour?

May Li: You want me to be honest?

Jackson nods and finishes off what’s left of his tea. May Li hesitates to answer, twiddling her thumbs as she sat down in the chair opposite Jackson’s desk.

May Li: You know how much I love children, yes?

Jackson: Why else would I hire you?

May Li: As you know, Andrea and I have always wanted children of our own, but could never find the time to settle down, especially after the war. I wanted to work here because I wanted a taste of what its like to raise kids. I’ve really grown to love each of them, even some of the bad apples. But when it comes to Jason… I don’t feel anything.

Jackson: What do you mean?

May Li: Whenever I look at him, I get this cold, hollow feeling. Like he wants to hurt someone.

Jackson: May Li…

May Li: I’m sorry, Jackson. I know you care deeply about Jason. But I just… can’t. Ever since I first saw him, he’s been nothing but trouble. Alex was an angel, an absolute dream. But Jason… he’s a bad boy, Jackson. A very bad boy.

Jackson: Believe me, May Li, if you’d seen what that boy’s been through you would understand why he is the way he is. I was there when Aegis put him in that hospital bed. He was so small, skinny and weak. Seeing a child his age be treated like that; it broke my heart. Jason’s anger stems from never knowing what its like to be loved. So I must show him. As far as anyones concerned, he is MY son! His birth parents can rot in hell for all I care!

May Li: I-I didn’t realise-

Jackson: You never read his file. If you had you’d understand what I’m talking about.

May Li: I know, sir. It’s just that… I’m afraid of Jason. When I look in his eyes, its like the Wilfre is looking back.

Jackson: Who’s that?

May Li: A demon of darkness. In Okinawa, my grandmother told me a story about it when I was four. It is a creature of hate and shadow that lures its victims in with people from their past, pretending to give them another chance to make amends for their sins. Then the demon would drown them in its ocean of darkness, endlessly submerging them until there was nothing left. Everything that darkness consumed is erased like they’d never existed… Whenever I look at Jason, I can sense that darkness.

Jackson was a little infuriated to hear her compare Jason to a demon from a creepy bedtime story. Had she not just heard him call they boy his son just now? Why can’t she see just how much of a better person Jason can be if given proper guidance? It was why he agreed to sending him to therapy in the first place. It sounded like May Li was giving up on him. He sighs deeply and addresses her calmly.

Jackson: Look, just let Andrea have a few more sessions with him, then you’ll see he’s not as bad as you think.

May Li turns her head away from Jackson and looks over at the locked office door as she thinks it over. She didn’t want to think negatively about Jason and make herself look like a bad person in the eyes of her boss and the other orphans. Where she’s from, all children were well behaved. Even the few who weren’t never acted like Jason did. Maybe she should look through his file and see just what kind of life he had before the war.

And it wasn’t just Jackson. Andrea also said that there was more to Jason then what’s on the surface. With a little digging she can find the root of the problem. She never once doubted her wife’s abilities as a therapist. But she can’t shake this feeling that something is very wrong with the white-haired teenager. What if he’s broken beyond repair? What if he doesn’t want to be fixed? What if… he likes being the way he is?

She quickly shakes off such thoughts and exhales calmly before turning back to Jackson and nodding in agreement to his suggestion.

May Li: Alright… Until tomorrow comes, lets try not to think about it, okay?

Jackson: Of course.

Outside the office, unbeknownst to the adults, Jason had been leaning against the wall, listening in on their conversation from start to finish. His index finger fiddling with his log hair covering his right eye. A look of anxiety and distress forming on his face.

May Li always said she cared about him like she did every other child in their care. But he always suspected she was lying. Now he knows what she really thinks of him. She feared him. Compared him to a creature from her childhood nightmares. Openly admitted to not feeling any form of compassion for him.

Looking back on how he acted at the group session, and even further back when Alex left, he admitted that he could’ve done things differently. Maybe then May Li would look at him like she would every other kid. Though he still doubted that.

Zack: Eavesdropping, freak?

The sudden appearance of Zack leaning in right next to him, startles Jason and accidentally causes him to back up into the door, alerting the adults of their presence. Jackson and May Li open the door and find Jason on the floor with Zack standing over him.

Jackson: What’s going on out here?

Zack: Sorry, Jackson. I was just telling Jason here that he shouldn’t be listening in on other peoples' conversations.

May Li: What? You were spying on us?!

Instead of giving her an answer, or even attempting to deny it, Jason just scurries up the stairs as fast as he can. Zack just shakes his head in disapproval, acting like a disappointed parent.

Zack: Tsk tsk tsk. Some people just don’t understand boundaries.

Jackson was unamused with Zack’s antics. He knows he’s to blame, he just can’t find any proof or excuse to punish him right now. He simply tells him to leave, which Zack happily obliges.

He follows Jason upstairs and leans against his bedroom door, not even bothering to see if he locked it or not. By now he knows him well enough that he’ll run and hide away like a coward when things get out of hand.

Zack: Wow, Jason. Never thought of you as the stalking type before. I’ll give you credit, you certainly pull off the creepy, loner look very well. Even May Li’s convinced you’re a freak.

Jason: Shut up!

Zack: You are pathetic, Jason! Useless!

Jason: No!

Inside his room, Jason was curled up in a ball on his bed, covering his ears, trying to drown Zack out. But his last few words sparked a horrible memory from his past to suddenly come back and torment him further. A memory of him being tied to a radiator with handcuffs. He remembered it being on as he would often feel his skin burn every time he touched it. He was looking down at a dirty, black carpeted floor littered with cigarette buds. He remembered it smelled of smoke almost every day, causing him to cough every now and then. And worst of all, he remembered hearing the loud, angry, hate-filled voice of his father shouting at him.

Jason’s Dad: You are pathetic, Jason! Useless!

Those words sparked a horrified reaction out of Jason. His eyes shot wide open, and tears started building up under them. It took him so long to finally rid himself of those horrible, horrible memories. But it only took hearing those five words from Zack to bring them back in a flash. Now its all his fractured mind can think about. And the more he delved into them, the more it upset him to the point he started screaming into his pillow.

Zack can hear his muffled screams from the door and laughs. He felt rather pleased with himself with how quickly he was able to break him compared to last time, like he’d been keeping track. He felt like he just broke a new record with him today. He can now go back to whatever he was doing with a proud look of accomplishment on his face. All the while his victim continued weeping uncontrollably.

The next day is a Wednesday. The time was 2:30pm. The usual time for Jason to have his weekly therapy sessions with Andrea. Just like before, and the times before then, May Li was the one in charge of escorting him to New London and making sure he gets to his appointment on time.

They arrived in town half an hour earlier than expected and thus had some extra time to spare. May Li decided to pop into the café across the street and grab a cup of coffee, feeling she may need it. Jason came in with her this time to ensure he doesn’t run off again. After placing her order for a cappuccino, she glances at Jason out the corner of her eye and thinks back to the conversation she had with Jackson that he’d been listening in on. The whole bus trip they’d been avoiding eye contact with each other and that was not good.

She needed to be the responsible adult. Although her thoughts on Jason might not change anytime soon, she agreed to not make it obvious in front of Jackson and the other kids. She often wondered what Jason thinks of her now that he knows she feels nothing for him. Does he hate her even more than usual? Is it too late to try and mend things? There was only one way to find out.

May Li: Jason?

The teen doesn’t turn around to address her. It was clear he still held a grudge against her for the things she said. But she wasn’t quick to give up yet.

May L: Listen, about what you heard yesterday? I didn’t- I didn’t mean for you to hear that.

Jason: Wow, not even denying it?

May Li: What would be the point of that? You heard it clear as day… Look, I just don’t want you to confuse what you heard with hatred. I didn’t say I hated you, Jason.

Jason: You compared me to a demon from your nightmares.

May Li: I said I was afraid of you.

Jason finally decided to turn himself around and bitterly raises his voice a bit, attracting the attention of some of the other customers.

Jason: Why?! Because I’m not “normal” like everyone else?!

May Li: Lower your voice. People are beginning to stare.

This was not going well at all for the assistant care worker. She started feeling uneasy from all the curious eyes looking their way. She needed to fix this and fast before it turned into something ugly, and they get kicked out.

She starts desperately looking around for anything that might help the situation. In the corner of the shop, she found a shelf filled with various chocolates and biscuits. The perfect treat to calm down a troubled child, even if he was almost 18.

She grabs a packet of Jason’s favourite brand of peanut-butter chocolate bites and pays for it at the counter as well as her cappuccino which she needed now more than ever. This whole time Jason had been impatiently waiting for his answer whilst giving those who were still staring at him a “what are you looking at?” glare.

May Li: Here you go.

She hands him the packet, much to Jason’s surprise. He wasn’t sure why she would get him a bag of his favourite chocolate for speaking to her the way he did, but he didn’t care. All he wanted now was to rip it open and start shoving the chocolate bites into his mouth, savouring the combined taste of the milk chocolate and the peanut butter paste in its centre. May Li sighed with relief that she was able to stop this and leaves the shop with Jason.

They soon enter the building, take the elevator to the 3rd floor and knock on Andrea’s door. The professionally dressed woman warmly greeted her wife with a kiss before taking Jason off her hands and offering him a seat on the chair opposite her.

Andrea: Hello, Jason.

Jason was too focused on eating his chocolates to properly pay attention to his therapist, which annoyed Andrea a little.

Andrea: Jason?

Jason: Mmmm?

Andrea: Can I ask that you please put those down for a minute? We need to talk about what happened in Group Therapy.

Jason: Why?

By the tone of his voice Andrea can tell immediately that something must’ve happened at home to make him put up his defensive walls again, which was a shame thinking back on all the progress she’d been making with him since they started. She’ll need to use a more subtle approach to convince him to tear those walls down.

Andrea: Please, Jason. You’ve already set yourself back during the group session. Don’t make things any harder. You do want to get better, don’t you?

Jason: Y-Yeah, I do… Okay.

He complies with the doctor’s orders and tosses his open bag of chocolates onto the table, spilling some of it all over. Jason quickly gets up from his chair and cleans it up, already feeling bad about making a mess, fearing this will slow his progress even further. Deep down he does want to be a better person. It wasn’t easy to not act on his impulses, but he does what he can for Andrea.

Once that was done, he sits back down in his chair and stares at his feet, twiddling his thumbs. He can slightly hear Andrea writing something down in her notebook, further increasing his anxiety.

Andrea: So, Jason. I was informed by one of my colleagues that you caused quite a scene in group therapy. Said that it started when Chaos Man was mentioned.

Hearing that name sparked a negative reaction out of him, confirming Andrea’s suspicions.

Andrea: Why does hearing his name make you so angry?

Jason: Why? Because I can’t stand people like him! That’s why!

Andrea: I need you to be more specific. What kind of person is Chaos Man to you?

Jason: The kind who think of us as little people who need protection from the “big, bad monsters”! The kind who believes because they have powers they can pick and choose whose worth saving! Heroes always see things in black and white. They never once question if maybe the monsters they’re fighting may be just as scared as the people they save.

Jason’s anger slowly fades out and is soon replaced by a saddened tone of voice. He looks away from his therapist and turns to the window behind him, looking up at the cloudy, grey sky.

Jason: … Chaos Man is not a hero. He’s just a saviour of humanity. But everything else he just sees as obstacles in his path. Sees people like me as bad as the monsters… Just like May Li did yesterday.

That last sentence piqued Andrea’s interest. Curious to find out more, she asks Jason what she said, and he answered as honestly as he can.

Andrea: I can understand how that can upset you-

Jason: That’s the thing though… A small part of me was actually happy to be called a monster.

Andrea raises an eyebrow at him. That was not the response she was expecting. She knew he’d be an interesting patient to tackle since he first walked into her office. But this felt like a new type of challenge to take on. She clears her throat, straightens out her blouse and continues.

Andrea: You didn’t mind being compared to a monster. Do you have any idea why?

Jason: Yeah, I do. Because in my experience, the term “monster” is determined by the actions of a being. Not by their appearance. To me, those creatures could be just different and misunderstood, like me. Humans are the real monsters for shooting first and never asking questions! Thinking because they’re different it’s okay to kill them.

Andrea: Hmm… Could it be that you obtained those ideals because of something traumatic you went through? With… your parents maybe?

The anger slowly started to reappear in Jason’s grey eyes. He tightly clenches his fists as he can feel the memories of his childhood come racing back all at once, causing him to stress out, breathe rapidly and grab the sides of his head, trying vainly to push those memories away.

Andrea: Don’t fight it, Jason. Let it flow. It’s not healthy to push back those memories. You have to face them if you wish to move forward. I know its hard, but its only temporary. Close your eyes.

Jason follows her instructions and closes his eyes and slows his breathing. He can feel his heartbeat slowing back to its normal rhythm and his fingers relax, letting go of his head and resting on the arm rests.

Andrea: Good. Now, I want you to think back to your childhood. Tell me everything you remember without skipping over any details, no matter how painful or gruesome it may be. Don’t hold anything back… Tell me about your childhood. Where were you born? What were your parents like?

Jason: I was born right here in London, before it was rebuilt. And my parents… they were the true monsters.

Jason Dark wasn’t like any other child. He wasn’t born in a clean, safe hospital. He was born in a dark, filthy apartment. He told Andrea that his birth wasn’t even planned. His old man just couldn’t be bothered to use protection and knocked up some young woman he manipulated into falling for him. He was an older, more rotund man with a bald head and a bushy beard full of crumbs. He wore a white, stained vest, ripped jeans and white socks. While his mother was a skinny, frail younger woman dressed all in black and messy black hair.

To say her love for him was toxic was a gross understatement. She acted more like his slave then his lover. Always doing the chores while he sat on his lazy ass watching TV like the fat slob he was.

Jason’s dad never saw him as his son, just another object that could be of use to him in the future. He hated looking after him as much as he hated working. This often led to him being left unattended in a cardboard box that acted as his crib - since they couldn’t afford a proper one – while his mother was forced to juggle her responsibilities as his “wife” with her part time job at the corner store a few blocks down from their flat building.

Surprising for Jason and Andrea, he can remember a lot of details about the disgusting pigsty that they called “home.” The floors were constantly littered with empty beer bottles and cans, scrunched up wrappers and empty boxes from all the fast food he ate. Shedded dog hair from the german shepherd they keep in a cage in the kitchen, and cigarette buds. Jason’s dad was in the same place he was always at, slumped back on the fabric sofa, watching football on a smaller than average flatscreen TV.

He remembered seeing him in a bad mood because his team was losing. His outraged bursts scared Jason as a baby, forcing him to start crying, which led to his dad getting even angrier.

Jason’s Dad: Grrr! Shut the fuck up! I’m tryin’ to watch the game!

All his shouting accomplished was scaring Jason even more, making his cries louder. Jason’s dad shouts aloud in frustration and tries to shut him up by throwing an empty bottle at the wall inches away from the box they kept him.

Jason’s Dad: AHHHHH! Don’t make me get up and kick you out that window!

Jason’s mother rushed into the living room in a panic. But it had nothing at all to do with Jason’s crying. She was more concerned with how her husband was acting.

Jason’s Mum: What’s wrong, Brad?

Jason’s Dad: Are you deaf or somethin?! That damn brat’s cryn’ again!

Jason’s Mum: What do you want me to do?

Jason’s Dad: I dunno, Jen! Give it food or somethin’! Just shut him up so I can watch the game in peace!

Jen walks over to Jason and picks him up out of the box. Traditionally, a mother would cradle her child in her arms and gently rock it while humming a soothing tune to get it to calm down. She didn’t do anything close to that. She just held him still and shushed him. A feeble attempt to calm a baby.

She brings him to the bedroom to change his nappy, even though it was mostly clean. She then gives him some food, hoping it will get him to stop. But Jason was still crying, leaving her worried about how Brad is gonna react.

His crying became too unbearable to a point that Brad finally decided to get off of his lazy ass, revealing a huge imprint of his ass on the sofa.

Jason’s Dad: Right! I’ve had enough of this shit! Give it here!

He grabs Jason from Jen and carries him single handed into the kitchen. Their dog was laying down on its blanket in its cage, sleeping peacefully, until Brad kicked it, startling it awake.

Jason’s Dad: Out, Scratch! Out!

He shouted as he unlocked the gate and forced the dog out. He then places Jason roughly inside and locks it. Jason continued to cry from the mistreatment he was receiving from his supposed father. Still enraged over his annoying cries, Brad starts kicking the cage a couple of times. But all that did was terrify him more.

He finally gets him to stop crying by forcibly putting duct tape over his mouth and locking him back inside the dog cage. He sighs with relief, finally glad its over. Jen peeks into the kitchen and notices Jason and feels that this may be taking things too far. She was a young, inexperienced woman. She had no clue how to look after a baby. But anyone can see that this is not how you get one to stop crying.

Jason’s Mum: Umm, Brad?

Jason’s Dad: You hear that, Jen? Finally, some peace and GODDAMN QUIET!

Jason’s Mum: But Brad. Isn’t that-

Jason’s Dad: What, Jen? You got somethin’ you need to say?!

Jason’s Mum: I… I just don’t think that’s… I mean, what if he can’t breathe?

Jason’s Dad: I only covered his annoying mouth! Brat can still breath through his nose. Why you acting like you care all a sudden?

Jason’s mother mumbles, struggling to form words in the presence of her much bigger, older and intimidating husband. She gagged from the foul smell of alcohol on his breath and mustard stains on his vest from eating nothing but cheap takeout.

Jason’s Dad: The only reason he’s here is because you forgot to take the damn pill like I told you! That makes him your problem, not mine! I never wanted a fuckin’ brat that screams in my ear in the first fuckin’ place! Why din’ ya get rid of him like I asked?!

Jason’s Mum: There were police around. I couldn’t just leave him on somebody’s doorstep with them watching. I already told you this.

Jason’s Dad: Great! So we’re fuckin’ stuck with him! This weak, pathetic gremlin! YOU HEAR THAT, JASON?! YOU ARE PATHETIC! USELESS!

The abuse never stopped since that day. In fact, he felt it had gotten worse with every passing year. Every day he was miserable, neglected, and straight up beaten by his obese father and his mother never did anything to stop him. She just sat in the background, watching him lay his hands on him. Sometimes hands aren’t enough, and he’s forced to bring out the belt.

If there was only one bright spot in this dark, miserable hell, it was the dog. She was the only one who showed him any kind of affection. She often kept him warm at night in the dog cage and brought him leftovers for him to eat, filling him up more than the cheap stuff his mother often serves him. That dog acted more motherly than his actual mum ever did.

But nothing good lasts forever. Two years later, Scratch sadly passed away, leaving Jason all alone with his tormentors. They didn’t even bother to give her a proper burial. They just stuffed her body into a bin bag and tossed it into the garbage men’s truck the day they were out on duty. Jason cried yet again that day, and he didn’t stop until he tired himself out. His eyes were swollen red from all the tears and his throat hurt from the nonstop screaming. He could barely utter a single word, not that he was taught to speak.

A couple years later, Jason is now four years old. Life for Jason continued getting worse for him with each passing day. His only saving grace was that his abusive father wasn’t around to beat him anymore. He and his mother had gotten into a lot of arguments in the past gruelling months. Jen had recently lost her job at the corner store when its owner moved away and sold it to be a part of a new corporate supermarket business. She applied to work there but was turned down due to child neglect. When things started getting bad finically, he packed his stuff and left her alone with Jason.

That man was her whole world. She had no family to lean on or friends to help her out. She was all alone. And rather than take this loss to try and learn from her mistakes, she instead takes out her frustrations on her only son. Blaming him for everything.

Since then, she’s been keeping Jason locked up in the dog cage all day, everyday. Only letting him out whenever he needed to use the bathroom. She would occasionally come into the kitchen area to give him a piece of bread and a cup of water. The poor boy was in terrible shape from years of neglect and suffering. He was practically skin and bones, not getting enough nutrients or sunlight, which is how his skin became so pale. His hair had turned white from years of extreme stress, and it reeked. The clothes he had on are the same ones he wore as a baby all stretched out and ragged. With her job gone, Jen had to live her lonely life as a cheapskate, trying to save up enough money to one day move out the city and live somewhere else.

Jason weakly looks up at his mum who was glaring down at him with such animosity, cutting the boy deep.

Jason’s Mum: Move away from the door.

Jason: Mummy, please can i-

Jason’s Mum: Move! Away!

She raised her voice sternly, scaring Jason to the core. He scurries to the back of the cage and wraps his arms around his legs. Jen keeps a soul-piercing eye on him as she unlocks the padlock and opens the gate. She gently sets down the plate of break and cup of water and quickly locks it up again before Jason had a chance to escape. But he was too weak to run. He can barely stand up in his cage since his legs hadn’t been used in years. He hadn’t had many chances to properly learn how to walk.

Once she stood up and away from the cage, Jason rushes to the food and ravenously devours it like a lion tearing through the carcass of a dead zebra or gazelle and downs the water in one gulp. He couldn’t help himself; he was starving. But no matter how quickly he ate his food it wouldn’t make the painful churning in his stomach go away. Her task done; Jen was ready to leave. But her trouser leg was grabbed by Jason.

Jason: Please let me out, Mummy.

Jason’s Mum: You know I can’t do that, Jason.

Jason: Why? What did I do?

Jen angrily pulls her leg free from her son’s weak grasp and starts shouting angrily at him.

Jason’s Mum: You know why! You’ve been bad, Jason.

Jason: No! I was good! I swear! I didn’t do anything wrong today!

Jason’s Mum: Tell that to your no-good father! You forced him to leave us! You made me lose my job! You ruined my life! Brad was all I had and now he’s gone. Because of you!

Her words hurt Jason so much that he started crying again, but she didn’t care nor have the energy to get him to stop.

Jason: Please don’t hate me, Mummy! Please! I’m sorry!

Jason’s Mum: Just shut up! Nothing you say will ever make me forgive you… Brad was right. I should’ve killed you the moment you came out my womb. It’s all your fault! …I wish you’d never been born!

She exits the kitchen and heads to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Jason curls up into a ball in the middle of the dog’s old blanket and continues to cry and wail at the top of his lungs until he exhausted himself once more.

Opening up about his tragic past was the hardest thing Jason has ever done. Other than Jackson and Alex, he hadn’t told anyone else about it. It was a chapter in his life he wished he could just rip out and burn in a fireplace. But Andrea encouraged him to continue.

He told her that things continued playing out that way for another year until the day of the Monster War. That’s when everything changed forever. Many people have been known to suffer from it. But to Jason it didn’t make that much of a difference. Pain and suffering were all he learned. It was only a little different to what he viewed as normal back then.

He recalled hearing loud sirens sounding off throughout London followed by a voice warning all citizens to evacuate immediately and board the emergency transport vehicles driving down every street. Jen reacted instantly to the alert and quickly packs her bag with her essentials. Out the corner of her eye she can see Jason grabbing the bars and desperately calling out to her. But she ignores him and continues to pack.

Outside the living room window, a few feet away from Jason, he can see a giant, dinosaur-like monster in the distance attacking a squadron of fighter jets, trying to swat them out of the air with its large tail. The jets managed to bombard the inside of its mouth with missiles, killing the beast and causing its body to fall backwards.

The impact was strong enough to cause a small tremor that shook every building within range, including theirs. The cupboards swing open and everything inside falls onto the kitchen floor. The broken plates and glasses shatter on impact and fly everywhere. Some of the shards enter through the gaps in the cage and cut Jason on his arms when he was reaching for his mother.

Jason: Mum! Please help me!

Jason’s Mum: Shut up, shut up, shut up!

She shouted as her panic-stricken mind rushed her to grab what she can and hurry outside. From her bedroom window she can see one of the rescue vehicles coming round her street corner. This may be her only chance to catch one. But she stops herself as she was about to head out the front door and decided to take one last look at her imprisoned child.

Jason: Mum! Please let me out!

Her eyes widen with horror as soon as she heard the animalistic roars of the monsters outside. They sounded dangerously close. She then glances back at Jason again. Suddenly, a psychotic grin formed on her face. She just has a sinister plan to ensure they don’t get to her.

Jason’s Mum: With any luck, they’ll find you first… Keep them busy, son.

Jason: No, Mum! Please come back! Don’t leave me here! PLEASE!

Jason’s Mum: Burn in hell!

Those were the last words he heard her say. She was out the door and presumably on the rescue transport before any monsters. She just left him to die. No, she was counting on it. She hoped the monsters would find and eat him, keeping their attention off of her so she can get away. Of all the horrible things she and his dad had done, this was without a doubt the evilest. Jason continued crying out for her, begging her to come back even though she was long gone.

It was only a matter of time before his screams attracted a monster’s attention and lured it straight to him. A werewolf-like monster bursted into the apartment through the bedroom wall, startling Jason and forcing him to shut his mouth to avoid detection. The monster carefully scanned the home for signs of life, using its pointed nose to sniff out anything human. Jason remained quiet and held his breath when it entered the living room. Unfortunately, it was inevitable that it would find him. It’s piercing red eyes stared directly at him, sparking a paralysing fear into the boy.

The monster slowly approached him on two legs and stood tall over him. Its shadow completely enveloped his small, skinny body. But something was off about this monster. For reasons unknown, it didn’t try to kill him straight away. Most monsters just go for the kill instantly. But this one just stared at him, tilting its head to left, showing signs of curiosity. Jason slowly lowered his hands from his face and stared back at it in confusion.

To this day Jason still questioned why that creature spared him. Did it see him as too small and weak and not worth killing? Did it smell the scent of his dog, Scratch, on him and identified him as a dog? Or maybe, and this is his belief, it wasn’t at all what mankind made its kind out to be.

Aegis Soldier 1: I’ll check this one… HOSTILE!

It’s a shame he never got the chance to try and communicate with the monster and ask it. Aegis soldiers soon entered the flat and gun down the beast before it could react. The first one to enter quickly dispatches the monster with multiple shots to the head and torso. Drops of its blood splattered over Jason, forcing him to flinch and look away.

Aegis Soldier 1: Hostile down! Search the premises for any survivors.

The other soldiers obeyed and entered the apartment one by one and begin searching the rooms until one of them stumbles upon a very weak and injured Jason laying in his still locked cage.

Jason: …Help …me.

Was all Jason could say with the tiny amount of strength he had left before passing out. Desperately reaching out to them for help.

Aegis Solider 2: Oh god- It’s a kid! Quick! Get him outta there!

The other soldiers soon enter the kitchen and share in the shock of seeing a boy so young locked in a cage and on the brink of dying of starvation. One of the soldiers breaks the padlock off with the butt end of his rifle and stands back as his fellow troopers carefully lift him out of the battered dog cage.

Aegis Soldier 3: Why the hell would someone leave a child locked in a cage to die?

Aegis Soldier 4: That doesn’t matter right now! This kid needs medical attention! Grab him and let's go!

The other soldiers nod in agreement and cover the soldier carrying Jason as they guide him out the flat and back to the truck they came in on.

Several hours later, Jason was taken back to the hidden, underground bunker all the transport vehicles brought the survivors of old London. Jason was quickly bought to the med bay where the doctors wasted no time operating on him. They hooked him up to an IV fluid machine and injected one of the feeding tubes into his arms, making sure he got the necessary nutrients to keep him alive and hopefully restore his muscle mass.

Chase Mercer was in the med bay as well. He was checking up on Michael who was laying in a bed a few feet away from Jason’s, seperated only by four more occupied beds. Or at least that’s who Jason assumed that was. It made the most sense to him. It also explained how he recognised Chase when he came to the orphanage to take Michael home.

He was barely awake at that time, but he knew it was him from the sound of his voice as he heard him conversing with one of the doctors operating on him.

Chase: What’s going on here?

Doctor: One of our scouts found this boy in the ruins of an apartment on Carnaby Street… They said they found him barely alive, locked inside a dog kennel, left to die… likely for bait.

Chase sounded both shocked and disgusted by what he heard. He then felt his large, gloved hand cup his left cheek, prompting him to slowly open his eyes. His vision was blurry from the bright lights hanging above his head. He didn’t even have the strength to tilt his head upwards and get a proper look. But he can tell Chase was worried about him. First time anyone ever has been.

Chase: He’s so young. About the same age as my son… Poor kid.

A new, familiar voice soon made itself heard in the general’s presence. Jason didn’t know it at the time, but looking back on it now, he recognised it as his carer, Jackson Hills.

Jackson: General Mercer.

Chase: Ah, Jackson. Thank God you’re here. We found another one.

Jackson looks down at Jason and his eyes widened with shock over the poor condition he was in.

Jackson: Jesus! Is he okay?

Chase: The doctors say he’s very weak, but he is alive. My men found him locked in a cage. Probably left to starve to death whilst they evacuated the city. One of the monsters found him. Luckily, the men took it out before it could put him out of his misery. He’ll need a place to stay if he recovers.

Jackson: He will! I’ll make sure of it! Enough children have died today. I won’t let this one meet the same fate… What kind of monsters would do this?

Chase: The human kind, without a shadow of a doubt.

Jackson stays by Jason’s side, nursing him back to health until he was strong enough to move again. He and Chase pass the time by catching up on old times, reminding the man about the old days when he served as Aegis’ field medic. Jason was too young to fully understand the old life Jackson had before running Hillside House. Not realising that back in his younger days, he used to have a loving wife who had a deep love for children. She always dreamed of having kids herself one day. But she never got that chance, for she tragically passed away. Ironically, being pregnant was what killed her.

Since then, Jackson retired from Aegis and founded the very orphanage Jason lived in today. He wanted to take all the pent up love he wanted to give to his unborn child to all the children who didn’t have as much. He felt his wife would’ve been proud of him for choosing this path. And Chase respected him even more for it.

Jackson: …But, Chase, are you sure you want to leave Michael in my care?

Chase: You’re a good man, Jackson. I know Michael will be better off living a normal life with you and the other kids. It’s better this way. I trust you. Leaving Aegis to fulfil the dreams of your wife is an act of a true, honest man. I know you won’t let me down.

Jackson: Like you, I want to make the world great again, by giving the next generation a better chance of living… Still, it’s going to be difficult for the kids to stay locked underground for a while. I just hope Hillside House will still be standing when this war’s over.

Chase: If its not, you can count on Aegis to rebuild it for you. I’m sure Richard will help too once he’s recovered.

Jackson: Thank you, sir… Oh, he’s waking up.

Eventually, Jason manages to recover enough to properly open his eyes and adjust to the brightness of the room. Once his vision clears the first thing he sees is Chase and his bandaged-up eye stained with blood, spooking him. But Jackson gets in front and places his gentle hands atop his chest.

Jackson: Shhhh, it’s alright. It’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you. We’re here to help you. My name’s Jackson. What’s yours?

Jason: J- Ja… Jason… Dark.

He weakly muttered, still too weak to talk in complete sentences.

Jackson: If you can’t talk properly yet, don’t push yourself. Save your energy and focus on filling your stomach.

Jackson reaches into his bag and slowly pulls out a chocolate bar with a peanut butter filling, peels off the wrapper and gently hands it to Jason. The white-haired boy was a little confused by the appearance of it. Jackson notices he was still having difficulty lifting his head to get closer and decided to bring the bar to his mouth instead. But instead of eating it, Jason just gave it a sniff. It smelled good. Really good. It was so much better then all the foul smells his nose had grown used to during all those years of living in that filthy apartment.

Jackson: It’s chocolate. You eat it… Has he never had chocolate before?

Jason then bites off the tip of the bar to see if it was any good. The instant that first bite touched his tongue an overwhelming sense of joy washes over him. His whole body shivered with delight. This was the best thing he’d ever tasted in his entire life, and he wanted more of it.

He suddenly snatched the bar out of Jackson’s hand, with strength he didn’t know he had from the excitement of tasting something good and gobbles up the whole bar, whilst trying to savour it for as long as he can. Jackson’s suspicions were right. That poor boy had never had a treat in his life. He vows to change that once he takes him back to Hillside House. Give him all the love and care he should’ve gotten from his parents. Part of him hopes to one day track down his birth parents so he can prosecute them and ensure they spend the rest of their lives rotting in the smallest cell prison had. Though there’s a high chance that they may’ve been killed by monsters. Hopefully it wasn’t a quick death.

Chase: Listen, Jason. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. Jackson’s the owner of an orphanage where children like you can be safe. He will take care of you from now on.

Jackson: That’s right. There are many other kids who’ve been in similar situations as you. It may take some time, but I’m sure you’ll come to have a proper upbringing there once the wars over. Who knows, you might even make some friends. Would you like that?

As Jason swallows the chocolate, he looks up at Jackson with melted chocolate smeared all over his mouth and rapidly nods his head. It wasn’t a decision. He wanted nothing more than to leave this horrible life behind him and start a new one under the roof of the Hillside House orphanage.

As he was telling Andrea his story, Jason often changed locations while he expressed himself. Starting his tragic tale in the guest chair, moved over to the sofa when he started talking about his father leaving and his mother blaming him for it. And as he was wrapping up his story he walked over to the window and looked outside, watching the people walking down the street. A family of one caught his eye. The mum and dad had a boy who looked around five as well. But they treated him differently.

They were happy and expressing how much they loved their son, showering him with hugs and kisses. The dad even allowed him to sit on his shoulders when he was getting tired. Jason envied that kid. He has no idea how lucky he is. What he would’ve given to get even an ounce of that love at that age.

Andrea: Jason? Everything alright?

Jason sighs and glances back at his therapist over his right shoulder with a look of deep sadness on his face.

Jason: I… I don’t know. I’ve never told anyone the full story before. I told Alex a little but withheld some of the details. Jackson was there so he knows. And Michael, well, I didn’t really connect with him enough to tell him… You’re the only one I told this to.

Andrea: And I am grateful you trust me enough to open up. Now tell me, Jason. How do you feel now?

Jason: I feel… better? Think? Like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders.

Andrea: See? I told you you’d feel better. I know it must’ve been really hard for you, talking about the past. What your parents did… It was disgusting, inhuman. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

Jason: Thanks, I guess… You wanted to know why I think human beings are the real monsters, now you know. You also know why I don’t think these visitors are truly evil. If they were, why would that one monster spare me?

Andrea didn’t know how to answer that. She, like everyone else did believe the invading monster are evil and don’t act like an everyday predator. They never hunt humans for food in order to survive, everyone knows this by now. The monsters are simply in it for the kill. It’s in their nature. Though the idea of one of them sparing Jason does pique her curiosity. Jason did sound genuine when he told her this, so she doubts he’s made it up. Later she’ll have to look into the other patients' files to see if they’ve had similar encounters.

Jason continued watching the happy family stroll down the street, following them with his eyes. Until they start getting drawn to a large holographic billboard, and all of a sudden, his mood shifts to anger, no... rage. It was because Chaos Man was being broadcasted on it for all to see in broad daylight. Already he can feel his rage bubbling to the surface. His fists clenching tightly.

Jason: Grrr! I can’t escape him! He’s everywhere!

Andrea: Chaos Man?

Jason: That should be me on that screen! With all that power! I should be the one the whole world is praising, not that stupid show-off!

Andrea: You’re telling me you think you deserve to be Chaos Man?

“Yes!” he shouted back at her, baring his teeth like a rabid dog. However, he suddenly stops and tries to calm himself down, remembering the breathing exercises she taught him whenever his emotions start to get out of control.

Jason: I-I’m really sorry, Doc. It’s just that I hate him so much!

Andrea: It’s alright, Jason. Still, hate is a strong word. Why do you think you deserve to be Chaos Man?

Jason: Because… Because… Maybe, if I had his powers the world would learn to accept me. People can show me the love and support they’re giving him. Then I can prove to my parents that they were wrong! That I’m not weak! That I’m not useless! And… maybe then, I won’t have anymore thoughts of… ending it.

This session was starting to take a darker turn. Andrea knew what he meant by “ending it” and felt sorry for him. At the same time, it makes sense he would have suicidal thoughts given how badly he was treated as a child. She was about to ask him why he would have these negative thoughts, but Jason was one step ahead of her and answered all on his own whilst keeping his back turned to her and looking out the window.

Jason: Sometimes it’s all just too much. Life. Everything. I mean, what kind of purpose does my life have? A lot of people I know have it all planned out. They know what they wanna be when they grow up. I never had that. My life is a cruel joke. A tragedy. I tried to find meaning in it like Jackson told me, but… I just can’t. I’m not even sure I’m human deep down. Just an empty shell waiting for… something to fill it.

Andrea pays close attention to Jason as he talked, jotting down her thoughts on him in her notebook. She occasionally takes a piece of random chocolate from her glass bowl without looking as she wrote. Unbeknownst to her and Jason, she accidently picked up one of Jason’s peanut-butter chocolate bites and eats it as she wrote.

Already she could feel her allergies kicking in. Her throat closes up and her face starts swelling. She drops her notebook and pen and grasps at her neck in a vain attempt to try and breathe.

Jason: … I mean, is there ever a time when we’re truly in the present moment and not looking toward the past or the future? I mean right there in the moment. No, there isn’t! Everyone always thinks about…

It was at this moment the sounds of her gasping, choking and knocking stuff over snapped Jason out of his rant and got him to turn around. He was in deep shock over seeing Andrea squirming on the floor. Her skin was turning red, and her eyes were filled with tears. He then looks over to spilled chocolate on the floor and connected the dots of what must’ve happened.

Jason: Oh no! Some of my chocolate must’ve gotten mixed up with hers!

Andrea was desperately trying to reach up towards her handbag she places on top of the rows of filing cabinets.

Andrea: Ja- Jason… help!

Panicked, Jason rushes over, grabs her bag and rummages through it until he finds an epipen. You would think that in this situation there would only be two options: fight, in which he would give her the epipen, and flight, in which he would run away or call for help. But rather than choose either, he chooses a third option: freeze. He just stands there frozen, consumed with paralysing fear and stress over this situation. He couldn’t move his body no matter how much his brain was telling him to help her. He couldn’t even do the simplest thing and drop the pen near her. His fingers clenched it too tightly. He can’t understand why he was letting this happen. It was like his belief of humans being monsters was taking control of him. Like an animal pacing in a cage, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

A voice was whispering in the depths of his mind, telling him to do nothing. Just stand there and let her die. She knew too much. His secrets can die with her. But his conscience was telling him its wrong. That there will be grave consequences if anyone found out she died, and he did nothing. He would lose everything good he had. Or would he?

Did he even have much in his new life worth keeping? Both his friends are gone, and he had nobody else. Everyone else either hated him or pretended he didn’t exist. Why should he care? They all think he’s as bad as a monster anyway, so why not embrace it? All these conflicting thoughts was giving Jason a headache. He started grabbing the side of his head and backs away from Andrea, muttering nonsensical words under his breath.

It didn’t take long for Andrea to finally succumb to her allergies and asphyxiate to death. Her body goes limp and lies flat out on the floor. Foamy saliva was leaking out the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were bloodshot. He skin was now pale. And her nails were broken from violently scratching at her own neck, trying to open her airway. Leaving visible claw marks.

Jason covers his mouth and backs himself up into the wall in complete shock. Only now did the ramifications of his negligence come hitting him in the gut all at once. He just killed a woman. He stood there and did nothing as she was choking to death. And the worst part is, she never did anything wrong to deserve it. She was nice to him. Trying to help him become a better person, live a better life despite his horrible start. But what he’d done here today only sealed his fate. There was no chance of becoming a better person now. That hope died with her.

Unsure of what to do, Jason tosses the epipen back into her bag and quickly leaves the room, grabbing the key on his way out. With it, he locks it from the outside and pockets the key. He then quietly rushes for the elevator and takes it down to the lobby. Deciding that running away was his only safe option.

What else could he do in that situation? Calling the police will only get him in trouble, and it was too late for an ambulance. No matter what happens he knows something bad will eventually happen. Somebody will discover the body at some point and report it. May Li will find out and automatically know he’s had something to with it. She already admitted to not feeling anything for him, so she would always ensure he paid for what he’d done. What else can he say other than…

Jason: I’m so screwed! What have I done?!

To Be Continued